Dirty Laundry

Of Books… And Bugs

Some exciting Beat the Band new! The reviews have started to pour in and it seems that people are very happy with the results of the second book (I know I am).

Kirkus Reviews called the book a “side-splitting sequel” and said “...fans have nothing but more good gross fun to look forward to.” Which I thought was very nice of them.

Booklist says that BEAT THE BAND is an “endearing follow-up to Swim the Fly” and “As the slang-happy Coop might say, this is one part brill and one part ridic.”

So there you have it. Thoroughly endorsed by people who aren’t me and who don’t even know me.

And keeping with our current topic of BEAT THE BAND (set to appear at bookstores everywhere in just eleven more days) here is a shot of the great big box o’ books that just landed on my doorstep. It was nearly as fun as getting that very first copy.

Feel free to buy your very own great big box o’ BEAT THE BAND books on September 15th. I’m sure your local bookseller will greatly appreciate it. I know I will.

Moving on to things much more entomological, I give you several shots of my recent visit to a Bug Zoo.

Me and some sort of stick bug (That’s me on the left)

Holding a real live tarantula. I would never have done this prior to buying a grave site.

Just in case you wanted to get up close and personal. If you’re squeamish… well… it’s too late, isn’t it.

Don’t try this at home.

Entomology lesson for the day: The bigger the scorpion’s claws, the less poisonous the stinger… Or so I’ve been told.

If you’re squeamish… oh, wait, we’ve done that one already.

Posted by Don Calame on 9.4.10 at 03:36 pm in Prattlings. (0) Comments

Gains and Losses

Well, well, well. Look what just arrived in the mail. Delivered directly to my doorstep. My very first hardcover copy of BEAT THE BAND. It looks super cool, if I do say so myself. The designers at Candlewick really out did themselves with this one. I am really pleased. Not to mention, the story inside is pretty good as well. Not that I’m biased or anything. But dollar for dollar I seriously doubt you will find more laughs for your hard earned cash than inside the pages of this super fun book. I’m just saying.

Now, onto other important things. Regular readers of this blog (and you know who you are) will remember that I have been trying to lose a few pounds so that I can regain my fighting weight of about 165. I’d eked up to around 182 which, according to the charts, is not a healthy place for me to be. I have writing and pastries to thank for transforming my fancy six pack into a cheap three pack and then into a single bargain basement forty. And since I need to fit into my only suit to attend my stepson’s wedding (without having to “let it out”) and since I also don’t want to move into that gravesite I purchased any time soon, it was imperative I slim down.

Well, Regular Readers, you’ll be happy to know that with the help of my iPad (yes, I keep plugging that damn thing) and a fantastic app called MyNetDiary, along with many visits to the gym and many more bowls of muesli for breakfast, I have shed between 9 and 11 pounds—depending on the scale I am using, where said scale is placed on the uneven bathroom floor, the amount of humidity in the air, what I snuck-ate for dessert the night before, and various other factors I either do or don’t have control over.

Now, I just need to lose another 8 or 9 pounds and I’ll be golden. Wish me luck.

I’m certain there is much more to tell you—like the fact that I FINALLY finished THE PASSAGE by Justin Cronin and thought it was great if not a bit on the long side. And that I’ve just started THE HUNGER GAMES which everyone else in the world has read but I never got around to and am enjoying that as well.

As I look at the clock I see that the day is escaping me and so I will sign off. One of these days I am going to write a blog completely dedicated to the many wonderful apps I’ve been discovering on the iPad and how Apple is ushering us into the future that our parents always promised us. But until that time, I must get back to Sean and his adventures in Book Three of the Swim Trilogy (formerly known as The Swim the Fly Trilogy, to be known in the future as TSTF Trilogy).

Posted by Don Calame on 8.18.10 at 12:45 pm in Prattlings. (1) Comments

To All My IE7 Readers

It has come to my attention (through several readers) that my website does not display well on Internet Explorer 7. It seems that the pictures in the posts tend to cover the text, making reading all of my very witty and clever prose impossible. I didn’t know about this because I use a Mac and Safari (which I highly recommend to you all. I was once PC user but I must say once I realized I could use all of my PC stuff on a Mac I bought one and have never looked back. They are dream machines, I must say. But I won’t go on a Mac-love rant right now.)

I’ve been in touch with my web masters and they tell me that IE7 is not a fan of the “align right” code in my picture postings. They also tell me that there are not too many fans of IE7 out there anyway and that I could just let it be. But I’ve now received multiple emails from readers who are having trouble seeing the text on other browsers as well. And so, I’ve go back through all my posts and removed the “align right” code which should alleviate the problem. It does push the pictures over to the right (covering up some of the months archive) but it’s a small price to pay to be able to read what I’ve written.

And so, I hope that this permanently fixes the problem. If you are still having difficulty, please write to me. I really appreciate the heads up.

Also, if you want, you can now go back and read all the wonderful excitement you may have missed before because of those dreaded pictures.

Thanks, again, to everyone who wrote to me to tell me about the problem.

Posted by Don Calame on 7.31.10 at 01:03 pm in Prattlings. (1) Comments

Sparing No Expense

So, since BEAT THE BAND is coming out on September 14th—which is just 52 short days away—I thought I’d start some heavy duty promotion. You can see my first shameless plug in the picture below. It was fairly pricey to hire the plane out and all but I think the few minutes the good people of NYC got to see my message will translate directly into mega book sales. Of course, it might have been smart to tip people off as to what “Beat the Band” was supposed to mean, but what can you do.

After my wonderful visit to the Burial Park last week I decided it would be a good idea to lose a bit of weight. Just, because, you know, all the pastry eating that goes along with being a writer (an occupational hazard, I’m afraid) has taken it’s toll on my waistline. Plus, I need to fit in the suit I purchased eight years ago so that I can wear it to my step-son’s wedding in September. You might not know this about me (or maybe you do, but I’ll assume the former) but I REALLY love my food. A really good tasting menu dinner with great wine is probably in my top five best things to do of all time. In fact, if I ever find out the exact date I’m going to vacate this lovely planet of ours, I would seriously consider flying to London and going to Gordon Ramsey’s wildly-overpriced-but-amazingly-worth-it restaurant for my final meal.

The other four best things of all time? Well, I’ll probably get around to telling you at some point or other.

Of course, now watching my food so that I can shed my winter coat has taken precedence over eating truly fabulous food. But that’s not to say I’m not cooking some good meals. In fact, I made probably the best eggplant parmesan that has ever been tasted by human (and dog, because Scooter demanded his share) lips. I could be all modest and say that it was just simply tasty. But I’m not going to do that because it wouldn’t be true. I made my own tomato sauce and carefully sliced the eggplant into thick slices (a secret I learned from my friend at Zambri’s Restaurant - the best Italian in Victoria by a Canadian mile) and breaded and fried the pieces. I layered it all carefully with parmesan and mozzarella cheese and baked the hell out of it until the top was crispy-licious! I wish I had a way of sharing it with all of you because you would have been impressed.

What else? Let’s see. I’m still in love with my iPad. So many great apps to play… I mean… work with. If you haven’t bought one yet, you should.

Going through serious hockey withdrawal. It always hits mid-July. But luckily I’m waist-deep into Book Three of my Swim the Fly Trilogy. I’m not sure I should call it The Swim the Fly Trilogy but I don’t have a better name for it right now, so we’re stuck with that.

I guess that’s about it for now. Oh, yeah, I’m reading THE PASSAGE by Justin Cronin. It’s a big long fat book but really well done. It’s vampires after the apocalypse but that doesn’t do justice to it at all. I’ll recommend it right now even though I’m only half through, just because the writing is so good. It’s scary vampires. The way they were always meant to be.

Posted by Don Calame on 7.24.10 at 02:43 pm in Prattlings. (1) Comments