Dirty Laundry

Nothing To Lose

If you ever want to feel like the speck on the speck on an ant’s ass, go to a planetarium and watch a show about how insanely huge the universe is. It’s really too much for the mind to wrap around. How unbelievably tiny we all are. If we actually could comprehend the enormity of it all we would never fear anything anymore. Because, really, in the grand GRAND scheme of things, we have nothing to be scared of. Our lives our less than a blip on the timeline of everything. Billions and billions. Of years. Of stars. Of? everything.

Why, then, be scared to go for the thing you want to go for? To dream huge? Any ridiculously enormous dream you can dream is still nothing compared to how unbelievably big our universe is.

Okay, yes, I did go to a planetarium recently. I bow my head. I confess. And it did affect me. On top of a lot of other things going on in my life right now. My father’s death. My mother’s illnesses. Grandparenthood. My recent middle age?

I guess I’m in the questioning phase of life. What’s it all mean? What’s my purpose? Why am I here? How do I want to spend the tiny blip of time I have left on this dot of a planet we live on?

I don’t have any answers. Really. I’m searching. Always.

I like listening to great music. Seeing a good movie. Reading a wonderful book. Playing guitar. Spending some cozy time looking into my wife’s eyes. Feeling her close. Hearing her voice, her laugh. Burying my nose in her neck, breathing her in.

Eating good food. Feeling grateful for the abundance I am so lucky to have in my life. My friends, my family, my dog, my everything.

Going to schools and reading my crazy books to students who seem tuned out and then to see a tiny spark in their eyes. Hear their laughter.

These are the things I live for. Everyone’s different. But that’s what keeps me getting out of bed every morning.

Wow. I thought I was going to write a light, funny, blog about tumbling through life? and then? this?.

You write what you write. What comes out. Sometimes it comes out differently than you imagined?.