Dirty Laundry

Happy 2016, Looking Back, Looking Forward

So, here we are again. It’s a new year, filled with clean slates and fresh beginnings. I’m not going to go into my resolutions for this year because I didn’t make any. I’m just going to wing it this time. I figure, why write down a list of things I know I’m going to fail at. Better just to have a vague idea of things I’d like to accomplish and if I get to them, great. If not, at least I don’t have a list of disappointments staring at me. I’ll lose weight and I’ll gain weight this year. I’ll eat healthy and I’ll eat like crap this year. I’ll exercise and I’ll be slothful this year. I will be generous and I will be selfish this year. And so it goes…

I’ve been going through my old notebooks the last few days. Trying to stir up a few ideas for a new book. I read a quote, can’t remember who it’s from, but the thought stuck with me. It was about how in writing we risk seeing that we are lesser beings that we had hoped. This is the exact opposite of how most of us live our lives, trying to present the best face we have, pretending things are great when they are not, pretending we are perfect when we are not. I think that is why I love reading and writing so much. It allows the muck of the world in. It allows us to see how things really are. And to be okay with it. Allows us to say, we are trying our best and sometimes that best isn’t so great.

This is not to say I am not happy. I am quite content at the moment. To be sitting here in my writing room. Playing around with ideas. The most fun part of the writing process. But there are also sorrows in my life. Disappointments. Grief. Struggle (haha, my autocorrect just changed “struggle” to “snuggle.” Maybe I need some autocorrect in my life…) Things I will use in my writing. Or not.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I planned to write about the holidays and how it was a busy time with friends and family. About how we moved last year, sold our house, moved our furniture across the country. How I finished my new novel, Dan Versus Nature and how I was looking forward to it being released in the spring. About Star Wars, and travel to England, and Sidney Crosby, and new iPads and the first snow of the winter…

But, like so many plans… like so many resolutions. Maybe next blog.

Happy New Year. I promise I’ll be more focused next time. Unless I’m not.