http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/ en Don Calame Copyright 2012 2012-01-10T18:16:37+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/its_the_welcome_to_2012_blog/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/its_the_welcome_to_2012_blog/ As I anxiously await the copy edits for Call the Shots I find myself with a bit of time on my hands. Not a ton, mind you. I am still trying to catch up on all the chores I’ve put off trying to finish the book: lightbulb changes, office straightening, packing up Christmas, wash, giving blood, organizing my 2012 schedule, among other things. And of course, there are books to read, movies to see, exercise to do, etc. etc. But I thought I’d take a little time to tend to my blog here. I started out last year great guns. Writing every couple of weeks. But as my new novel took over my life toward the end of 2011 I had to make that my priority. Even my incessant tweeting suffered. A quick bit of catch up and then I’ll post a few pictures. The holidays were nice. Pretty peaceful over here. Which is always a blessing. I got a new phone and the latest Stephen King novel (which I am fully immersed in at the moment). The King book will take me a while to read as it’s over 800 pages long. Some people I know can rip through books in a couple of days but I am just a painfully slow reader and so this one will take me a few weeks if not a month. Which is fine, because that way I get to savour it more. Over New Year’s my wife and I went to a snow shoeing boot camp (see pics below). We were both starting to pack on some weight and so I wanted to find a place where we could go to try to stop the bleeding. I just sort of threw out the idea that maybe we could go to a weight loss spa at some point or something and then my ever-efficient wife finds this place called Mountain Trek in Ainsworth, BC where they run a turkey burner boot camp and whip the crap out of you by making you snow shoe up mountains for four hours a day, then make you hit the gym for another hour after dinner. All the while they are cooking you tasty (but low calorie) foods. It was quite the experience but well worth it as I lost 11 pounds of fat and lowered my blood pressure by quite a bit. Mountain Trek also runs hiking boot camps during the spring, summer, and fall. I highly recommend them if you want to shed a bit of extra poundage. It is definitely not easy but well worth it. What else can I tell you? Going to be starting up a new blog tour for the release of BEAT THE BAND in the UK. I’ll link to my blogs here so you won’t have to miss a thing. That starts up in February. CALL THE SHOTS is scheduled to be released this fall, which I’m extremely excited about. I’ve got a really fun new idea that’s been percolating for a little while. I’ll probably start that some time soon. And now, as promised, a few snow shoeing photos and a surprise appearance of BEAT THE BAND in the most unlikely of places. That’s right, it’s the cover of the 2011 Annual Report for Frasier Meadows Retirement Community in Boulder, Colorado. Proving once and for all that my books are great fun for anyone from 12 to 112. Prattlings 2012-01-10T18:16:37+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/happy_holidays_so_much_to_tell_so_very_tired/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/happy_holidays_so_much_to_tell_so_very_tired/ Yes, it has been quite some time since I’ve blogged. Normally I have nothing to blame but pure laziness and perhaps my subscription to NHL Gamecenter Live where I can watch far too many hockey games (sometimes several at one time - gotta love that picture in picture function). But this time I really do have a good excuse. I have spent the last several months pruning, polishing, and reworking my next book (Call the Shots) which is due out in the fall of 2012. Somehow I got behind schedule (perhaps it was the fact that the book was running nearly 500 pages long). Thankfully, I have the world’s greatest editor (Kaylan Adair at Candlewick Press) and she was instrumental in whipping this book into excellent shape. I both love and hate the rewriting stage. I love that you have an opportunity to make things better but I hate having to try to keep the entire book in my head all at once. I am much better at working on individual scenes than the overall picture of things. But when I am rewriting, I have to keep the entire story in my head so that anything that gets changed can be tracked through the rest of the novel. I find it incredibly exhausting. But I suppose it’s good to stretch one’s brain functions every once in a awhile. I have so many things to write about but I have no idea where to start. I suppose I’ll just hit the highlights for you. If you’re persistent there will be a nice video waiting for you at the end of this blog. (And if you’re not persistent and just impatient, you can scroll down and watch it now). As I’ve already said, Call the Shots is pretty much finished. It’s taken me over a year to write and I am extremely excited by how it’s turned out. Just some copy editing to do in 2012 and it should be all set to go. I already have a great idea for my next book (not part of the Swim the Fly series) but I’m going to take a little time to refuel before I dive back into the writing. You wouldn’t think that sitting at your computer and dreaming up stories would be so tiring and yet it really is quite draining. Some fantastic news on the Beat the Band front. I found out a few weeks ago that Beat the Band has been nominated for an   OLA Forest of Reading White Pine Award. This was the very award that Swim the Fly was nominated for (and was chosen as an Honour Book) last year. So, all of you out there in Ontario: get reading and get voting. Over the past few months I’ve done some wonderful events. I read at Word on the Street Vancouver and was also a presenter at The Surrey International Writers Conference. If you’re a writer and have never been to SIWC I can’t recommend it enough. It’s where I met my editor and it is an amazing gathering of authors, agents, publishers, and editors. I had a blast giving my presentations on writing for YA and writing screenplays. What else? What else? I had a chance to see Moneyball (the only movie I’ve seen in the last four months) and really enjoyed it. I also read the Steve Jobs Biography which I thought was excellent. Right now I’m two-thirds of the way through The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach and it’s very good so far. There’s so much more I want to write about. Sidney Crosby and his struggles with his concussion. Steve Jobs passing away. My time living in Toronto for three months. But my brain is pretty much pudding right now. So I will leave you with the promo video I put together for the Candlewick Press sales conference. Once again, my dog Scooter deserves much of the credit here. Hope you enjoy it. And Happy Holidays to everyone.     Prattlings 2011-12-23T00:56:55+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/its_the_everything_and_the_kitchen_sink_blog/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/its_the_everything_and_the_kitchen_sink_blog/ Hi, all. This is going to be a hodgepodge of a blog, so to speak. It will cover everything from writing, to hockey, to Steve Jobs, to whatever else my sleepy brain decides to dole out. Let me start off by saying I didn’t sleep last night. At all. Nothing. Not a single minute. This wasn’t on purpose, mind you. I wasn’t waiting in line at my local Apple Store for the new iPhone (I pre-ordered, you see). I really wanted to sleep. I tried. I stayed in bed. I meditated. I tried all the tricks I know. But my brain just didn’t want to shut off. And so, I got up and did what all insomniac geeks do. I booted up my iPad and read a bunch of comics. Somehow I’ve gotten sucked into the New 52 that DC comics has been rolling out. You know, the recently rebooted Batman, Superman, Flash, etc. And so I read all the issues I hadn’t gotten to yet. And still sleep would not come. This has never happened to me before. My wife will tell you that I am a professional sleeper. Meaning, I can fall asleep pretty much any time and anywhere. But not last night. And I still am not sure why. I am hoping this is just a one time deal and not the start of a Stephen King novel where I start hallucinating and seeing demons in every corner. Time will tell, of course. The reason I’m telling you this is so that you’ll understand if this blog is a bit rambling and nonsensical. At least I have an excuse this time. As you’ve all heard, I’m sure, Steve Jobs died last week. It was very sad. It affected me very deeply. I’m not sure why. I guess I am a bit of an Apple obsessive. Have been ever since I bought my first Mac five years ago. But it’s odd when a stranger’s passing shakes your core. I didn’t know the man. My only connection is the plethora of Apple products I use every day. More than anything, I suppose, it’s the idea that no matter how brilliant, rich, inventive you are, all of us are going to die some day. If someone as influential as Steve Jobs can die, well, then, of course, there’s really no hope for any of us. Which is something Mr. Jobs always preached. We are all going to die and so don’t waste your life doing things you don’t want to do. Find what you love and spend your time doing that. It’s the only way to live. All right, enough of that. Did I mention that I finished the latest draft of Call the Shots? Well, I did. And I’m really happy with it. I just hope my editor feels the same way. We’ll soon find out. Hockey season is in full swing and the good news for all of us Sidney Crosby fans is that he’s been cleared by his doctors for contact. Which means we may see him in game action pretty soon. I passed him over in my fantasy hockey league because I wasn’t sure when he was going to return. Regardless, I’ll be really happy to see him return to action. The NHL is not the same without him. I recently finished reading THE NIGHT CIRCUS by Erin Morgenstern. And while the New York Times wasn’t a big fan, I was. I absolutely loved the book. It was magical in the way only a select few books can be (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe). I highly recommend it. I don’t know what book the reviewer for the NYT read but it couldn’t have been the same one I read. Next week is the Surrey International Writer’s Conference (see, I’ve completely given up with trying to segue at all). I will be doing four presentations at the conference, so, if you are around and are interested in writing, you should attend. It’s one of the best writer’s conferences in North America. Now, I suppose I’m a bit biased as this is where I met my brilliant editor (Kaylan Adair, Candlewick Press). But even if I DIDN’T meet my editor there, I would still recommend it to you. There are so many great workshops to attend and influential people to meet. Speaking of the conference, I need to get working on the presentations I’m going to give, so I will sign off here. I have no idea if what I’ve written makes sense, but honestly, I can’t be blamed. Hopefully I will get some shuteye tonight. Wish me luck. Prattlings 2011-10-14T19:53:58+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/the_home_stretch/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/the_home_stretch/ These days I Tweet way more than I blog. But I am not even doing much of that right now either. I am in the home stretch of my latest draft of Call the Shots and I have to focus most of my waking attention on that. Some days it feels like things are going along brilliantly and other days, well, not so much. This is my process and I’ve come to accept it. One day of joy for every two days of tearing my hair out. Speaking of hair, as most of you already know, I don’t have much of it left. Not because I’ve actually been tearing it out. That was a bit of hyperbole at the end of the last paragraph. Although, I have known and worked for people (well, one person really) who actually did tear out their own hair. And hurl telephones right along with their F-bombs. Anyway, I went for a haircut the other day. And yes, us nearly-bald people do still have to get our hair cut once in a while lest we start looking vaguely Bozo-the-Clownish. For all of you too young to know who that is, here’s a visual: Well, so, I’m sitting in the barber chair and I tell the way-too-buff way-too-tan hair dresser that I’d just like a trim. He then asks me what number I’d like and I have no idea what this means because nobody has ever asked me that before. I tell him I’m not sure, that I just want it short but not buzzed too closely. The big buff barber just smiles at me and says that I’m wrong about this. That I really do want it buzzed short because the shorter a balding person cuts his hair, the more hair it looks like they have. And so, I say, go ahead. Do what you do. I’ll trust you. Now, normally, when you say something like this the result is disastrous. I mean, it’s CUT TO: thirty minutes later and I look like Mr. Clean. But lo-and-behold I look in the mirror when he’s done and I do appear to have more hair than I had BEFORE I got most of it shaved off. It’s some sort of optical illusion but hey, I’ll take it. I have no idea why I just told you that story. I was just following the thread of this blog from rewrites to tearing out my hair to bosses who actually do tear out their hair to a very smart barber who’s shown me the light. At least as far as haircuts go.  Well, that was fun. Now it’s back to the rewriting trenches. I’ve set myself a goal so that I’d be certain to finish this draft on time. As of this moment, I am right on target to finish up at the end of September/beginning of October. It will be my longest book yet, I think, but hey, it’s the last one of the series and I’m having a hard time saying goodbye. Prattlings 2011-09-07T02:57:03+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/writing_speaking_reading/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/writing_speaking_reading/ I can’t believe it’s August already. The summer is just flying by and so is my time to get the edits done on CALL THE SHOTS. I’m on target to be finished by mid to late September but that might change as I progress. This book may end up being the longest of the three but Sean has really gotten himself tangled up in all sorts of problems and it’s taking me some time to extricate him from the whole mess. I am giving a keynote speech at the Vancouver Public Library Book Camp this week and it’s taken me much longer to write and practice it then I had initially planned. I foolishly decided to go high-tech with this talk and am using the Keynote app on my Mac to go through the entire process of getting Swim the Fly published. That means I’ll be showing and reading the two page scribble I wrote at a writing workshop many moons ago. This is the piece that would eventually become the novel. I’ll also be showing my original notes and outline and book trailer. It was fun reliving the whole experience (and should help me with the talk I’m supposed to give with my editor Kaylan Adair at the Surrey International Writer’s Conference in October). I’m a little worried though that using all this gear for my presentation is going to throw me. I usually just get up in front of a crowd, do a reading, talk a little bit about the writing process, and take questions. This will be a new experience for me. Hopefully it doesn’t blow up in my face. I’ll let you know how it goes. Been so busy lately that my reading has had to take a back seat. Still, I was lucky enough to score an ARC of Tom Perrotta’s latest book, THE LEFTOVERS from one of my fab publicists at Random House Canada and I am absolutely LOVING it. It comes out in September and you should definitely pick up a copy. He’s a fantastic writer. One of my favs. He even made my list of funniest books for boys (and girls) in the Guardian. That’s all for now. I’ve still got to pack for my trip to Vancouver, run through my talk once more, and get a few more pages done on the rewrite. And if you STILL aren’t following me on Twitter then I feel sorry for you. My random thoughts are little gems to be cherished and savoured. Prattlings 2011-08-09T22:07:44+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/summers_here/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/summers_here/ And I’m holed up in the dark cave of my writing room working on the rewrite for CALL THE SHOTS (the tentatively titled third book in the STF series). Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I manage to sneak outside every once in awhile (see summer photo essay below). I actually really enjoy the rewriting process. It wasn’t always this way. I used to dread it. I used to think the first draft was the most fun to write and everything else was drudgery. But now I know better. The first draft is fun, for sure. But it’s like a crazy uncontrolled fun where you try and get everything and anything out onto the page. The rewriting is where all the refinement comes in. It allows you to go back and add all the little details (and big plot points) you thought you wanted to add in the first place but were too busy trying to get the book finished to actually find the time to fit in (thank you, I hope you enjoyed that run-on sentence). Rewriting is where you can hone your characters and straighten the story spine and sharpen the jokes. It’s where you can go back and do a little extra research to add layers to your novel. Speaking of which, I am going to cut this blog short as I have to get back to the book. I will leave you with a book suggestion (Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson - silly fast fun) and a movie suggestion (X-Men: First Class - silly fast fun… also) and my brief summer photo essay with many pictures of bees. Enjoy! Prattlings 2011-07-12T12:44:05+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/riots_and_hockey_games_and_some_more_guest_blogs/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/riots_and_hockey_games_and_some_more_guest_blogs/ I won’t say much about the riots in Vancouver after the seventh game of the Stanley Cup Final other than the situation made me really sad. There are times in life where I really fear for the future of humanity. This was one of them. I simply don’t understand the mentality here. What’s the point? I realize that this was a premeditated outburst, that the people who started the whole thing came to Vancouver (from Seattle, from Montreal, from who knows where else) with the express intent of causing mayhem. Whether the Canucks won or lost there was going to be property damage. Otherwise these people would not have shown up with their masks and incendiary devices. What I do not understand is how all those other people could join in or why so many others stood around and took pictures and video while the chaos ensued. Had everyone just left the scene and gone home the police and firefighters would have been able to do their jobs much quicker. Anyway, that’s all I will say about that. I was in the city. I saw the game. I watched the Bruins celebrate (see the photo below) and then my stepson and I went back to our hotel. Sure I was disappointed to see the Canucks lose but not once did I feel like upturning a car or looting a store or punching someone in the face or lighting something on fire. The things that do give me hope are the hundreds of people in the city who came out to help with the cleanup the following day as well as all those who are sending their tips and photos to the police. I have a ton of pictures from the game and the celebration but I will not bore you with them. Instead, I’ll just post one. Tim Thomas basically won the Bruins their championship. Here he is (at age 37, an oldster in the hockey world) raising his first ever Stanley Cup. This was a guy who last year got benched for most of the season and then nearly got traded. A guy who didn’t make it into the NHL until he was in his late twenties/early thirties. Who never gave up and persevered against all the odds. And now here he is, not only a Stanley Cup champion but also the MVP of the playoffs who will probably also win the Vezina Trophy for best goaltender. I say this in my talks all the time, but the people who achieve their dreams are often the ones who simply refuse to give up. It’s a lesson I carry with me all the time. Right now I am deep into my rewrite of Call the Shots (the third book in the Swim the Fly trilogy). There are days I think I will never be able to finish this book. My brain has a hard time comprehending the enormity of all the plots and characters I need to tweak and flesh out. Then there are days where I make myself laugh with a tiny aside or a little detail I find amusing and I feel better again. Feel like there is light at the end of the rewriting tunnel. Speaking of writing, I will leave you now so that I can take Tim Thomas’ lesson and get back to the work. Before I depart though, here are two new blogs I did for the UK. The first one is for The Guardian newspaper where they asked me to list my top ten funny teen boy books. I do say in the article that these books are equally funny for girls but I think there is the feeling out there (which I happen to agree with) that boys are underserved in the YA market. The second blog is one I did for The Scottish Book Trust. They are a fantastic literary organization and they helped organize some of my readings in Edinburgh. I was asked to write a blog about my experiences touring Scotland. I’d already written an overview of the entire tour on my own blog so I chose one particular reading to focus on. The Guardian: Top Ten Funny YA Books Scottish Book Trust: An American in Peebles   Prattlings 2011-06-18T19:20:54+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/the_uk_blog_tour_continued/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/the_uk_blog_tour_continued/ I know you simply can’t get enough of me and my pearls of writing wisdom. And so, in light of that I give you the last five stops on my UK blog tour: Daisy Chain Book Reviews The Overflowing Library Love Reading Empire Of Books Magic Bean Review And, of course, if you haven’t been following me on Twitter then you have no idea what you’re missing.   Prattlings 2011-06-07T21:44:46+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/3_2_1_uk_book_launch_uk_tour_days_11_12_13_and_14/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/3_2_1_uk_book_launch_uk_tour_days_11_12_13_and_14/ The following represents my Cliff Notes (or York Notes, for my UK readers) version for the grande finale of my spectacular UK book tour. Once again I will attempt to keep things brief, but as we’ve learned over the course of my last several blogs, this might prove difficult. But guess what, if you’re really good and you make it all the way through this blog you will be rewarded with a wondrous photo essay of Hay on Wye. So, really, it will all be worth it. Now, let’s get started: Wednesday, May 25th, Day 11: Having braved ash clouds, disgruntled travellers, and delayed rail service I arrived back at my hotel in London and had a good night’s sleep. In the morning it was breakfast in “The Carvery” which included hard boiled eggs, fruit, coffee, and more hard boiled eggs. I was then driven to Liverpool Station so I could take a train out to Chelmsford. My train ride was uneventful, just the way one likes it. I was met at the Chelmsford station by Kathleen Robb from Just Imagine Story Centre. Kathleen was kind enough to chauffeur me around for the day. Taking me to my two school visits and for a visit to Just Imagine. Our first stop was Hylands School to meet up with librarian Carolyn Smith. Finding the entrance to Hylands School was a bit of a puzzle as we drove down several streets that looked like they would lead to the parking lot only to be confronted by an unyielding fence each time. After many failed attempts, Kathleen found the lucky street and we managed to enter the parking lot. Unfortunately, cars were double and triple parked and so we had to exit the hard-won parking lot to try to find a spot on the street. Once inside we met Carolyn and she showed us to the gymnasium where we were to sell the books during the break. Following this we moved on to the drama room. The students were ushered in and we had a packed house. The lucky earlier arriving teens got chairs, the late arrivals had to make due with the floor. Apparently, Hylands School has a farm. This seemed very quaint when I first arrived but became decidedly less quaint once I started my reading. If ever you have the chance to try to talk over a honking goose… don’t. The goose wins every time. It’s the long neck, you see. It channels the sound and amplifies it. Still, I soldiered on. There was laughing, though I don’t know if it was Swim the Fly they were laughing at or the upstaging goose. I’ve never been a fan of the gamey tasting goose, but I just might have to cook one next Christmas so I can exact a measure of revenge. Following Hylands, Kathleen took me for a lunch and chat with Georgia at Just Imagine. The bookstore is very sweet and they host all sorts of wonderful events there. Book-themed birthday parties, Crafternoons, writing workshops, and book clubs. After lunch it was off to Boswells School. Librarian Amanda Wilson showed us into their new auditorium complete with three hundred seats, television monitors, a stage, and a giant projection screen. It was very impressive to say the least. We set up my book trailer and a microphone and before I knew it the place with packed with students. I did my reading, and talk, and showed the trailer and had to leave right after the session in order to get my train back to London. There wasn’t much wiggle room as I had to return for the big book launch which was only a few hours away! I got back to the hotel and had just enough time to take a quick shower, iron my clothes, and get dressed. Philippa Perry from Templar picked me up at the hotel and walked me over to The Covent Garden Hotel. The room at the Covent Garden was beautifully decked out with Swim the Fly books, and flickering fairy candles, and posters of my big bald head, The evening began at 6:30 with some blue-colored cocktails (like pool water, get it?) and chatting with all the wonderful booksellers, and bloggers, and editors, and publicists, and sales reps, and journalists. My friends Diana and Richard Napper showed up and were very understanding as I made my way around the room to try to talk to everyone. I have to say, I was truly awed by the incredible event that Templar put on to launch the book. Not only was there tasty wine, and cocktails, and canapes (Mushroom risotto in parmesan cones, anyone! Tiny burgers! Mini fish and chips!) but they’d reserved the little theatre next to our party room so they could show my book trailer and then have journalist/YA author (Life, Interrupted) Damian Kelleher interview me. Damian was the perfect host, making me feel very comfortable, and asking me some great questions. He ended the session by asking me if I’d do a short reading from the book, which I did. Thanks to my fabulous wife (and reading coach) I was able to pull this off with great success. I really can’t express just how moved I was by all of this. It was a magical evening and one I will never forget. Of course, I didn’t bring my camera, and even if I did I wouldn’t have used it, so I’ve nicked the pictures off the Templar website to post here. After the book launch, my good friends Diana and Richard took me out to a late French dinner just across the street where we got to catch up. It was a nice way to wind down after the excitement of the evening. It also didn’t hurt to hear how wonderful they thought the book launch was! I fell into bed some time after midnight, filled up with all the smiles, laughter, and conversation of an amazing night. Thursday, May 26th, Day 12: I got to sleep in today and I needed it. When I woke up I had to pack my bags to get ready for my trip to Hay on Wye. Then, it was a quick cup of coffee and a muffin before meeting YA author (Kai-ro, Mean Streets, Snatched) and journalist Graham Marks for an article he will be writing for Books for Keeps. Graham was a true professional, conducting the interview as a casual conversation. If I could choose who would interview me from now on I would definitely take Damian or Graham any day of the week. Both interviews felt easy and relaxed, like I was talking to an old friend. Following the interview it was back up to my room to grab my things and catch my car to Paddington Station. As soon as I stepped outside the skies opened up and it began to pour. No big deal, though. My car was on it’s way, or so the text on my phone said. When the car didn’t show up on time I was not worried. I had forty-five minutes to get to Paddington station and I figured I had plenty of time. I was wrong. The car was only ten minutes late but traffic was miserable. My driver decided to take a roundabout route to avoid mid-town but this did not help matters. We pulled up to the station at exactly 12:15 which, coincidentally, was the same time my train was set to leave. I ran like a crazy person in hopes that my train was running a little late. Why not, right? It’s not like when I wanted the trains to run smoothly they were on time. But of course, as luck would have it, my train had literally left the station. I was very lucky to get an extremely kind customer service rep at the booth and she stamped my ticket allowing me to take the next train out. Whatever the London train system is not, they DO have very nice people to help you when you need it. And so, I got the next train and things went pretty smoothly from there. Made my connection in Newport and it was onto Hay where a car was waiting to pick me up. My driver was pretty laconic and the girl who was sharing the ride with me was not very talkative either so I promptly fell asleep. When I woke up, forty minutes later, I felt refreshed but with a bit of a sore throat. Which meant I must have been snoring. Thankfully, my driving companions did not mention it, though they may have been quietly laughing all the way into town. I checked into my accommodations (George House) and met Shirley and Malcolm Smith. Shirley and Malcolm run a B&B only during the Hay Festival but if they wanted to they could run a very successful one year-round. They were very lovely hosts and Malcolm cooked a mean breakfast. I’ve stayed in a lot of B&Bs and I would say that Shirley and Malcolm could give some of the best a run for their money. Dinner was a nice pub affair with Emma O’Donovan and her sweet husband Brendan. Then it was off to sleep in a very comfy bed with nice soft sheets. Friday, May 27th, Day 13: A tasty breakfast of fried eggs, smoked bacon, toast, orange juice, coffee, and granola. Brendan and Emma picked me up at 10 and we drove down to where the festival was being held. Emma took me to the authors green room where she introduced me to Orion publicist Nina Douglas and YA author Marcus Sedgwick. Then, it was off to the Starlight tent for my Hay Festival event. Around 150 students filed into the tent and Sophie Lording gave me a very nice introduction. The reading and talk went absolutely brilliantly. I couldn’t have asked for a better grand finale. Lots of laughs and some really good (and different) questions. I’ve never been asked what my favorite animal was before but it made a nice lead in to my book trailer (which stars my very favorite animal, Scooter). After the talk it was off to the signing tent where many books were sold and autographed. Emma, Nina, Marcus and I retired to the food tent and had lunch. I bid adieu to Emma and Brendan and then, since the weather was good, I strolled through Hay on Wye snapping a billion pictures (the best of which you will get to see shortly). Saturday, May 28th, Day 14: Another London train debacle as we got delayed at one of the stops for an hour and so I missed my connection in Newport. No worries, though. Another train to London could be caught, however it, too, was running a half hour late and so I didn’t arrive into the city until three-thirty. Thirty minutes after I was supposed to meet Lesley Preston from Bounce so that we could walk over to Foyles to do some stock signing. Lesley was quite kind about the whole thing and met me at the hotel at four instead of three. We trotted over to Foyles where we met Jo and Sam in the children’s department. They had stacks and stacks of Swim the Fly ready for me to sign. Both Sam and Jo are really enthusiastic booksellers and it was great chatting with them as I autographed the books. Lesley walked me back to my hotel, we said goodbye, and then… That was that. The end of my UK book tour. It seemed like it was going to be such a long time but it really flew by. I’ve already thanked everyone at Templar Publishing and Bounce Marketing but I am going to do so again here. Because I simply can’t thank them enough for all they have done to get the word out about Swim the Fly. It was a whirlwind tour and I felt incredibly well taken care of. Everything was planned perfectly, and even the train mishaps made for some good laughs and blogging time. Speaking of which, if you haven’t caught the first few stops on my UK blog tour, now’s your chance. Just follow the links below: Jess Hearts Books Chicklish Book Zone 4 Boys Mostly Reading YA The Crooked Shelf There’s still five more stops on the blog tour so check out the On Tour section to see where I’ll be next! And now, because you’ve been so good and have read every single word of this blog, I give you, HAY ON WYE a photographic essay: Prattlings 2011-05-31T18:57:10+00:00 http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/hawick_chelmsford_peebles_oh_my_uk_tour_days_8_9_10_11/ http://www.doncalame.com/dirty_laundry/item/hawick_chelmsford_peebles_oh_my_uk_tour_days_8_9_10_11/ I’ve wanted to update my blog but I have been going non-stop since my little respite in Edinburgh. I’m afraid I’m going to have to do a quick summary of everything that has gone on as I just don’t have the time or the finger stamina to lay everything out in all it’s glorious detail. I’m also afraid this blog is going to be seriously photo-anemic as I bagged my camera and only snapped a few shots with my phone. I’ve been a bad photographer this trip. I must apologize. I’ve had to focus all my energies on my readings and talks. I’m sure you understand. If not, well, then, I give you permission to speed read this entry. It’s only fair, as I will be speed writing it. DAY 8, Sunday, May 22nd: The promised rain arrived in Edinburgh and so I slept in. Really, I didn’t do very much in the morning and early afternoon but pack and read, and have a pub lunch, and read some more. The day really took a nice turn when Peebles High School Librarian Ruth Fry picked me up from my hotel. I can’t tell you how sweet this was of her. It’s not a short drive to Edinburgh and I was quite moved that she had come all this way to retrieve me. Ruth’s friend John was doing the driving in the city and the three of us had a nice chat on our way back to Peebles. We spoke of book festivals, and Edinburgh’s history, and how the hotel I was staying at was built on the old Bedlam lunatic asylum. We dropped John off in a town that I can’t remember the name of and then Ruth took over the driving. She kindly toured me around Peebles and the surrounding area, giving me some local history and telling me all about the famous Beltane Festival where they stampede some 200 horses in a rush of wind and power. INSERT PICTURE OF QUAINT LITTLE HIGH STREET HERE - PLEASE IMAGINE INDEPENDENTLY OWNED SHOPS LINING THE ROAD WITH A CHURCH AT THE FAR END Ruth dropped me off at my hotel and then we went out for a great supper of fish and beef pie and pavlova. Then we met publicist Liz Scott in the hotel bar for a nightcap. It was a great introduction to Peebles. Our hotel did not have internet and so I felt like an astronaut who’d been untethered from his space capsule. Luckily, I had my books to keep me company. DAY 9, Monday, May 23rd: Woke up (thank God) and had a quick spot of breakfast with Liz and then it was off to Peebles High School. There we met Sarah Wright from Bounce (she’d driven all the way out from Edinburgh to make sure everything went smoothly) as well as Rosamund de la Hey from Mainstreet Trading Company. The wind and rain decided to show up in great force today and so we hurried inside once we arrived. Ruth met us at the front door and ushered us into the dining hall where I was scheduled to give my talk. The library had been commandeered for testing and so this was what was available. Now, I’m not going to lie here. When I stepped into the dining hall I was a little worried. It was high-ceilinged with tables spread far apart and lunch ladies clanking pots and plates in the background. Voices echoed and bounced off the walls like ping pong balls. This did not look promising, to say the least. MISSING PHOTO OF DINING HALL WITH SCATTERED BITS OF FOOD ON THE FLOOR, CHAIRS OVERTURNED, AND LUNCH LADIES IN HAIRNETS I felt very bad for Ruth because she was obviously flustered by this. And she had been so sweet and so excited about my visit, fighting tooth and nail to get me there. She even went head-to-head with a very insistent Health teacher who had scheduled a “health walk” for that day and was demanding Ruth cancel my visit. But Ruth was not to be dissuaded. But the show must go on and go on it did. Liz scouted out the quietest part of the dining hall and we set up chairs in a corner as far away from the kitchen as possible. What happened next just blew me away. The students were brought in and got settled. I was introduced and then began my talk. I read a bit and the students laughed like crazy. I opened it up for questions and hands shot up. They had a ton of them. Finally, we had to end the talk and the students clamoured to buy books and get them signed. It was amazing! INSERT SHOT OF ME SMILING HUGELY AND SIGNING LOTS OF BOOKS Next up was a visit to librarian Thomas Clark and his students at Hawick High School. There I addressed a lecture hall filled with 120 students. It was a nice session with many laughs and several questions about whether or not I’d ever gone to the Oscars and if I owned a massive house in America. Finally, Liz drove me to Newcastle, violently ignoring her incredibly loud and rude GPS in favor of Rosamund’s slightly out of the way - but quite scenic - route. Newcastle is very picturesque and if I’d taken my camera out of my bag you would be witness to its beauty at this point in the blog. As it is you will just have to rely on your splendid imagination and picture many bridges, wonderful old architecture, and a large mirrored bubble-shaped building up on a hill just across the river Tyne. DAY TEN, Tuesday, May 24th: Morning was porridge and fruit with Liz at the hotel. Then it was off in a cab to BBC Radio Newcastle where I was interviewed by the energetic and Disney-loving Jonathan Miles. We discussed e-books, and sophomoric humor, and his love of all things Disney pre-Beauty and the Beast for the pre-recorded segment. I did a short reading whereupon Jonathan spit up with laughter, ruining the recording, and causing me to have to re-read the last portion of the piece presumably so that they could splice out Jonathan’s outburst. This was followed by a visit to the wondrous Seven Stories children’s book museum and bookstore. If you are ever planning a trip to Newcastle (which I would highly recommend) make it a point to stop by this magical place and take in the very cool exhibition where you can see things like Roald Dahl’s editing of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where he crossed out the words Whipple-Scrumpets and changed them to Oompa-Loompas. Imagine how different the world would be today had he not redrafted! Lorna Duncanson gave us an excellent tour of the entire facilities and I actually did take my phone from my pocket to snap a picture. I wasn’t allowed to take pictures in the exhibitions but I did manage to get a shot of something very nice on the bookshelves at the store. Following the tour Liz and I piled into the Seven Stories van with Steve and headed off to Benfield School. Librarian Melanie Chadwick met us at reception and then brought us into the library where she had created an amazing display for Swim the Fly. I was super impressed at all of the references to things that happened in the book (proving that Melanie, had indeed, read the novel). And look here, I took some more photos. Clever me. The event went well and one girl in particular nearly keeled over with laughter at a scene in Beat the Band where Coop tries to fart his way into distancing himself from Helen. It was fun to see. Steve was particularly impressed that a person can make a living writing fart gags. I didn’t want to disappoint him by admitting that this is just not true. You need to be equally good at writing burp gags, cross-dressing gags, and vomit gags. Then it was back into the Seven Stories van and off to Farrington Community Sport College. Librarian Beverley Hughes had a tasty lunch all ready for us before the event and then 150 boys filed into the gymnasium. It was a lively bunch with lots of laughter and some very original questions including one boy who wanted to know if I’d kept the suit that had been becrapped upon by a flock of birds on my first dinner date with my wife. Following the Farrington event Liz was kind enough to deposit me at the Newcastle train station where her angry GPS had us zigging and zagging and then quite rudely demanded we turn into a taxi lane. The train ride home was most interesting. Jayne Roscoe (my incredibly organized publicist from Bristol who had my tour scheduled like clockwork) very kindly reserved me a seat on the train just in case it was crowded. Well, no one could have predicted just HOW crowded the train was going to be thanks to a rogue ash cloud from a belching volcano halfway across the world. The Edinburgh airport was closed and so the train was overflowing with passengers. All bets were off as to reserved seats. The luggage racks were spilling over with bags and I managed to secure a tiny scrap of carpet on the floor in the corner by one of the doors. In the best tradition of Murphy’s Law, a freight train decided to give up the ghost in front of my train back to London and so my three hour ride turned into a five and a half hour one. But as I am a lemonade from lemons type guy, I whipped out my laptop and knocked out a few blogs and several Q&A’s for my UK blog tour. I will leave you here and shall get working on writing about the last leg of my tour which includes, of course, a beyond-belief book launch party and a crowning event at the incredible Hay Festival (complete with tons of pictures!!!!) If you are too impatient to wait, you can read Leonora Mary’s version of the book launch party here. She does capture the spirit of things quite well. Also, catch the first stop on my UK blog tour here. Until next time… Prattlings 2011-05-27T17:54:22+00:00